5 weeks vs 9 months - first entry

Yes...

I'm 5 weeks pregnant

Alhamdulilah..

Many may not aware that I suffer from hypertension, thus I'm on medication. Not 1, but 3 types. The specialist(s) that I'm seeing every 3 months couldn't figure out the causes of my hypertension. After like 5 yrs of appointments, they finally concluded that I'm one of those ppl who are suffering from White Coat Hypertension. For more info, check out this website. http://http://www.blood-pressure-monitoring.org/white-coat-hypertension.htm

So, I've decided to use this blog as one fo ways for me to share my thoughts, feelings thru out my pregnancy. I wanna let others know that this is not something that I asked nor cherish. I also wanna let other pregnant mommies not to be scared of being diagnosed of hypertension during pregnancy, because I've been thru this stage 3 yrs ago, and will go thru the same thing for the next 8 months. Why 8 months? Because doctors wil not let you carry the baby full term, its too risky.

As for now, my blood pressure reading, yesterday was satisfying = 120/80. I think its something got to do with the wonders of Ramadhan. I really feel at ease. Alhamdullilah

I shall pen down whatever thing that will happen during my antenatal app. I think I would like to call this project as "5 WEEKS vs 9 MONTHS"

Ramadhan

Indeed, this Ramadhan has shed some new lights in my life. No more whirpool of emo, heart-breaks or even grudges. I feel at ease most of the time, in fact I managed to go on without having to worry that I couldn't do it. Classes are fully attended, outlines are thoroughly checked, consultation hours are obediently observed. I must confess that this Ramadhan I trully get the feel & spirit of it. But its more than that; Terawih, tadarus & sahur..I managed to do complete all three. Terawih & tadarus berimamkan suami sendiri itu yang paling indah sekali. After so many years of not being able to read Qu'ran with an ust, I finally got it back. Alhamdullilah.. Bukan sekadar tajwid, tetapi lengkap dgn translation sekali. Dulu2, kalau baca mengaji, mesti kena sediakan terjemahaan tapi sekarang, lepas baca Qu'ran, imam saya akan translate utk saya. Ya, saya memang bertuah & tak pernah bermimpi untuk berkongsi hidup dgn seorang ust. Mungkin org lain akan kata, saya menunjuk2, tp itulah hakikatnya. saya bukan sekadar dpt suami, tp saya juga mendapat imam yang akan mengimamkan segala solat wajib & sunat saya, Insyaallah. After 5 years, I finally know all the mysteries behind what have been bestowed upon me by Him.

Saya juga sudah mula mengerti erti zuhud bila suami hanya mahu berbuka dengan beberapa biji buah tamar, kuih-muih serta minuman panas. Selepas itu, kami bersolat Maghrib dan terus bersiap untuk ke surau untuk Isya' & terawih. Setelah 18 hari di bulan Ramadhan, bazar Ramadhan hanya dijengah sebanyak 2 kali sahaja. Itupun sebab kami ataupun saya sendiri ada urusan di Segamat. Tapi seronok sebab betul2 boleh enjoy suasana itu.

Sahur merupakan saat yang mungkin berat bagi sesetengah orang untuk bangun. Tapi, sekali lagi, suami tidak pernah (setakat ini) lagi minta makanan yang berat. cukup sekadar semangkuk kecil oats, 2 keping roti & segelas air panas. What more do I want from this guy?

Indah sungguh Ramadhan tahun ini....!!! ~~

dah 5 tahun..beb !! :-)

fuh....

nak sampaikan 5 thn ni...aduhai sedih beb...mcm2..mmg betullah, cam drama swasta...kejap2 tersengih2, pastu melalak, dah melalak mata bengkak..hahaha..drama queen esok pg nye...tp, besh sbb kitarog ni ala-ala East meets West..mangsanya..umar jibril..la ni, pandai dah dok kecek kelate klu umar jibril dok sembang2 dgn aku,siap arrrr...aku dok pulun english, tp ok sbb dia buleh doh faham skit2...sampaikan phrase favourite aku pon dia dok pulun gak..."FINE..WHATEVER" hahaha..

kitaorg masa dating dulu2, sedih beb...aku bz separuh sewel sbb buat M.Ed kat UM..jumpa ust rock msa final yr, so, dia selamat sbb x sempat jd punching bag aku klu aku marah giler kat all d profs/associate prof kat UM ..cuma dia sempat jd self-appointed supervisor utk project paper aku..hahaha yg paling aku suka sgt2 biler time kitarog distributed our wedding cards, satu uitm kecoh beb..!!!! diaorg dok assumed that i only dated high class & wealthy ppl there is 1 remark that I would nevr be able to forget...

" u kawin dgn ust rozman ke? u biar betul?"

"ialah..kan nama dia dlm kad tu"

"ish..u ni biar btol..u kan suka org2 yg hensem, kaya.."

aku dah gelak giler, tp maintain sbb xnak kasi malu sama itu org.. "so, ust rozman x hensem lah..x kaya lah.."

giler punye pompuan..ingat aku ni mata RM ke....sengal!!!!

I wanna wrinkle gracefully and beautifully with you, while sipping our favourite white coffee, holding hands, exchanging love words, eatching days go by, listening to keroncong songs

that's my wish & hope...

emo yg sdng roller coaster ni!!!

hahaha.....
aphal plak aku ber-emo yg beria2 ni? adakah sbb lusa anni aku dgn dia? atau its my "time" every month?
tp, yg pastinya, belek2 pen drive yg putih ni, jumpa tajuk "the use of slang among UiTM students"
wa!!!!! ini sudah baek..
belek2 lg, ghupa2nya dah siap sampai Lit Review...
hoooohoooohoooo....
BESH giler.....nampak gaya, bleh ke S%$@*D PTK next yr...
pastu, aku bleh join org2 yg giler naik pangkat tp kelas x penah pegi, students complain sini-sana & yg pastinya...naik pangkat je, cik abg aku sorang ni dah pesan awal2...."dpt je dm@* nnt, dok diam2, pkai baju cantik, abg tambah collection branded handbags & yg paling penting..kaye2 tau"
huhuhu...cayalah ust rock!!!

Judge @ Judgemental

What is "judge" to you?

A person to be dreaded of, an evil who doesn't knw rights & wrongs?

Are we fit enuf to judge others..or do we just play it all along just to fit into the society?

Do we judge ppl frm they way they talk, dress, eyes, pronunciation...

its already difficult to get into society nowadays, ite even difficult to stay awake and not being drifted away and away further frm who u are..but sometimes, u just hafta do it coz most of ur so-called "friends" or "buddies" are just some elitists that think so high of themselves

for example...

u've worked so hard just to be where u are now would u look down just for a moment and think abt those unfortunates? have u ever wondered how they juggle wt lives, careers and family? whats more if those unfortunates are not so lucky in a sense that they r not highly educated, not so beautiful or even worse disabled? would u turn around and help them? do they have enuf to eat tonite? are their homes gonna be ok thru'out this stormy nite?

would u become an opportunist by preying at them and suddenly leap onto any gold chances that come across u? why would ppl, esp those who have good careers & $ just lurve to do that...

whats more, if those ppl are pretentious jerks yg berpura2 religious but at the same time condemning others by saying "those who'll be accepted to heaven would be those who rush, or even run to perform prayers at masjid"

bukan itu riak and takbur ke?

Itu yg Nabi larang, tp itu juga org sekarang suka buat...menjadi hakim on Allah's behalf...

I'v taken vows NOT to be judgemental towards others, let alone judgin whats rite or even whats wrong for anyone that I knw or mybe don't knw

mmg betul, dulu aku bukan begini..dulu aku seorang secularist, menganggap semuanya penting, sama level bg buruk atau baik tp itu sebelum aku mengenal & mencintai ISLAM & MUHAMMAD 5 tahun yg lalu aku bukan begini, aku begitu...

I finally learnt when & how to say NO

It's difficult to say NO, esp when someone who is kinda dear to you ask u to help him/her. Since I've started working, it had been pretty hard for me to displease anyone@ colleague, I guess during that time I was a on contract-basis (ppl say that when u're still on contract-basis, its better if u just follow what ur so-called superiors asked u to do)..well then..I followed that advice for 4 years..2005 marked my social adjustment when my priority has been adjusted to mr hubby and everybody knows that whatever it is, he comes first in my list..be it nite classes, club xtivities or even a simple get-together with my lady friends...he used to complaint that I spent too much time doin' office stuffs (I used to bring back students' work, quizzes..) I went for my Induction Course in 2008, leaving him and our then lil' monster when he has just reached 1 yo..late 2009 I began to think straight and finally I came to my senses....I've have said NO to many things..

"dd, I need u to draft module for this......" - I answered OK
"could u replace ----- for tis event..couldn't make it" - I responded SURE, WHY NOT
"I have decided that u should do this..cz....." - I said MY PLEASURE
"i knw that ur appt for tis post ends tis dec...but i couldn't find any1 else than u..so, could u pls stay for 1 more term?" - I replied AS U WISH..

so...I confidently rejected an offer to b 1 one of CM for 1 of the most important posts in the uni....my reason...

I need to focus on 1 of my goals..2012....2 more yrs to go....

simple as that....

bed-sharing

...tell me..do we call this fury four-legged creature as "pet" or just ...Alice...

better still..siblings ? ppl must be talking behind or even straight to my face...biasalah..mak2 yg over-damn concern...

SCENE 1

"anak u x allergy cats ke? my son/daugther x bleh sgt2 kena kucing..nnt gatal satu bdn..ari tu pegi playground pon.....(pekakkan telinga)"

"tak pun..biasa je"

SCENE 2

"U better be careful..x psal2 kena asthma nnt budak tu"

"iya ke...sejak dlm confiment lg I mmg dah expose my son dgn Alice..so far, ok je..."

SCENE 3

"I x bleh lah tgk anak2 I main dgn kucing..geli..eeeeeee"

"haha...Alice ni homey cat..we never let her out of the house compound..."

such a damn typical answers..!! If u, urself hate cats or even other fury animals, why must u educate/brainswash ur kiddos that all cats are dirty? they're just kids, so pure, so innocent...let them play/expose themselves to one of thousands gifts Him..

Alice's vet @Dr Puspa from Segamat kept on reminding me not to separate them, even during confinement..it turned up that Alice is such a good help..I remember when Umar was just few weeks old & we decided to bring him back to our home, Alice was so happy that she meow-ed at him many times. I guess she wanted to make sure that Umar would recognise her voice. One day, while I was in the kitchen cooking, Umar slept in the living room. Little that I knew Alice was somewhere near, but I didn't make her to go away instead, I let her linger around him so after he has dozed off, I went to the kitchen and did the coking stuffs..once in a while, I checked on them..she slept by his feet as if she was guarding or shall I say giving me xtra hand to watch him..so swuueett huh..not long after that, I heard Alice meow-ed again and kept lingering at my feet..and I can sense that she tried telling me something...I quickly went to the living hall & I found that Umar has waken up...one damn great sista!!!

So tell me...who's allergy to who?

& thats why we insist him to address her as KAK Alice..other cats@alley cats...as just CAT MEOW...